Reflections on Residency: Pre-Rounding

The alarm blares. In less than a moment, my brain — long since trained by habit into rapid rebooting — is alert and active. Unconsciously, I ready myself, donning my white coat. Stethoscope, pens, copies of patient notes, and other loose papers all begin to clutter my pockets. As I arrive at the hospital, I scurry to see all my patients before the appointed hour. I try to repress the numbing feeling of guilt that comes with awakening them when they so clearly need to sleep. My first patient is a middle-aged man who has been in the hospital since yesterday for heart failure. Knock, knock. I quickly enter his room, almost forgetting to bathe my hands in the sanitizing solution conspicuously posted just outside every patient room. “How was your night?” He moans groggily, still mostly asleep. “Any new issues?” No response. “Mind if I examine you?” After my flurry of questions, I perform a hasty exam. My stethoscope rests on his chest for a few brief beats. I jab my hand into his abdomen, remembering how many more patients I have to see this morning. “Ahh!” he cries. “Sorry, but I just need to examine you.” I finish the remainder of the exam. “Any questions?” I offer, as I begin inching toward the door. Ashamedly, this last query is borne more from habit than genuine compassion.